Asalam Alaikum Mom!
Ramadan Kareem! UMMUKA would like to thank you for your continued support of this much needed service within the community.
This month we will be exploring “Habits”. We will be looking at how we can rid ourselves of negative/bad habits and replacing them with good ones.
We know that “Allah will never change a grace which He has bestowed on a people until they change what is in their ownselves.” (Al-Anaam, 8:53) And He, the Almighty says, “Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves (by committing sins and by being ungrateful and disobedient to Allah)." (Ar-Ra'd, 13:11)
The comprehensiveness of fasting allows the servant of Allah to change through making changes to; the time of her sleep, her waking up, her meals; the ways she spends her time with Allah and her family; the arrangement of her priorities and interests; and even her emotions and passions, so the ability to change becomes greater and stronger.
"Allah the Almighty has said: 'O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me, and hope in Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds in the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I shall forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with an earthful of sins and were you then to face Me, without having associated anything with Me, I shall grant you an earthful of pardon' - how great is the mercy of Allah azza wa jjal.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. – Aristotle.
Most of you have you have expressed a will to change certain habits in the month of Ramadan, and how you can inculcate this in your kids. Once we can change our habits, the kids will mirror the new habits, since they are great at copying adults’ behaviour. We are their role models! Get them to list a few habits they want to get rid of and make a family challenge!
It is known that it takes 30 days to change a habit, which sits perfectly with the month of Ramadan. After Ramadan, I will provide you with some tips on how to maintain these habits for the next 11 months, InshAllah. Okay so you have mentioned some key habits such as:
1. Waking up early for fajr
2. Praying on time
3. Reconnecting with Allah azza wa jjal
4. To perform Qiyaam layl/Taraweeh/Tahajjud
5. Memorisation of the Quran
6. Reading the Quran – reflecting and pondering on its meaning
7. Being an excellent Mom
8. Stop yelling at the kids
9. Spend less time on the phone, internet, face book etc.
10. Stop backbiting
11. Spend more time doing fun things with the kids
Ok. Let us start – our CALL to ACTION, how do we make these changes?
The simple steps of habit change ( edited original article from zenhabits) While the tips below will seem overwhelming, there are really only a few things you need to know. Everything else is just helping these to become reality!
1. Write down the habit you want to change, e.g. – missing the Sunnah prayers.
2. Start small – you want to wake up early start by waking up 10-15minutes early than usual.
3. Identify your triggers habits – when, where and what triggers the habit. Make yourself aware of this habit and how frequently you do it.
4. Replacement Habit - Next, focus on how willing and committed you are to making a change and on doing a counter habit. Think into the future – how it would be to not have the negative habit and to replace it with a positive one.
5. Take Action - Then write a specific action that you will do to counter the habit and start the good habit. Be very specific and be regular and consistent so the new habit becomes embedded. Remember – a habit is something that you do regularly! Your new action could be to come to prayer 10minutes early so you can do the Sunnah prayer on time.
6. Focus - on doing the replacement habits every single time the triggers happen, for the next 29 days. Make sincere du’a to Allah to help you in this new transformation process.
7. Small and consistent – Remember the actions and deeds most beloved to Allah, are those simple deeds that are done regularly and consistently
rather than the major ones done irregularly!
Remember Allah loves what is continuous, consistent and small. Alhamdulillah you have taken the first step to making a Habit change, it is not that complicated, all it requires is strong will and conviction.
Our level of Eeman (faith) in this holy month reaches a new height it has never experienced during previous months.
Let me know how you get on.
Click Here to get the HABITATOR so you can start changing that habit NOW! Share your progress with us on our face book page ---- UMMUKA