Monday, 21 June 2010
“Its time for my pyjamas” Zubaydah said and “here is Abdul Rahaman's. It was just coming up to 8pm at night. Little Zubaydah gets dressed for bed and asks for her toothbrush. I was thoroughly impressed.
Zubaydah and her brother were visiting for the evening - she is only two years old! Mash Allah. I am saying this to moms that have said to me it’s not possible for a two year old to be independent. I am afraid I beg to differ – Zubaydah got dressed without her mom’s help. You might be wondering how she knew the time to get dressed.
Ha! She had a routine – and her internal compass was navigating her next move subconsciously.
When children are coming up to the age of two they are very clingy and want mom, that does not mean we can’t get them to be independent.
What I see from this, is we can tame our two year olds to have basic routines, be independent and have basic chores that they will love doing.
I watched Zubaydah feed herself, take her plate to the kitchen and her mom just sat with me as we chatted away – she is so independent, mash Allah! TabarakAllah!
How does my friend do it?
1. She Got Zubaydah to start helping with the clothes – she started with small clothes like tea towels, underwear. Alright it was not as good as moms folding! Remember practice makes permanence.
2. Gets her four year old, Abdul Rahaman to load and unload the washing machine . Hanging the clothes on the drier (airier) within his reach since he turned two years old. – He sees this now as part of the day to day running of the home and enjoys it with a passion - because mom has given him responsibility!
3. He folds his shirts and trousers and has started helping with his sisters clothes, and vacuum cleaning in all – yes he is only four!
4. They both enjoy gardening with mom and baking too! Yes they do make a mess.
5. Most importantly they have boundaries and understand them – I will share one with you, Abdul Rahaman said – Auntie we are not allowed to climb tables or chairs at home. I ask “why”, he replies “ we might hurt ourselves” Mommy has provided, us with a big stool in the kitchen which we stand on when washing our hands. If it all sounds good to be true – what do you think of this, he dashes off to the toilet reciting the dua’a for entering the toilet! - Mash Allah, these children I am sure you will agree with me are every mom’s dream.
A dream we can all achieve with effort. If you have not started a routine with your kids or toddlers, why don’t you start to day?
Start them off on small activities, like dressing themselves, brushing their teeth before they go to bed, the only downside is that they will swallow the paste which does them no harm.
As they become more independent you can sit back and have a nice cup of tea watching your toddlers preparing themselves for bed or playschool.
Let’s get productive, start a routine for your toddler today and even the older ones.
It does not matter where you are at this point in time, you can start NOW! With Ramadan around the corner, what a perfect time to get routines going to ensure we are ahead of the game!
Here are a few things you can start doing to grow your children into Productive Muslim kids;
1.Get toddler to tidy up their toys and games
2.Show them how to change into their pyjamas
3.Brush their teeth
4.Fold their clothes away
5.Dua’a before going to bed
6.Teach them very short Adakhar - like the ones we say before going to the toilet, eating, dressing up, before we go to bed and when we wake up.
7.And lay out their clothes for the next day – and give them a choice, for example- you can lay out a pink or blue outfit and ask them to choose. They really love doing this. You are also teaching basic life skills on how to make choices and decisions.
What routines are you going to put in place for your kids, don’t forget to let them pick out some of their own routines – involving them means you are more likely to get their agreement!
I would like to leave you with a beautiful gem to try with your children – A scholar was wondering how to make his two year old daughter love Allah and attach her heart to the Qu’ran. So she gets to read a portion at different times of the day. When she is a bit naughty - Mom and papa say to her “You will not get to read the Qu’ran today for being naughty”. To mine and your amazement, she will burst out in tears crying apologetically,what a superb way of getting our children to connect with the Qu’ran. Moms this is a gem we should swap for what we generally do and that’s – “right you have been naughty, go and read your Qu’ran now!” – what signals are you sending the child, it means you only read the book of Allah when you are naughty, so they will always be on their best behaviour!
The consequences; we are teaching them to DISCONNECT their hearts from the Qu’ran and loving Allah! Next time you tell your child to pick up the Qu'ran let it be for the right reasons.
Have a successful parenting week!
Remember what works for you works for YOU!