Sunday, 2 May 2010

Peace At Last!

Peace at last! As Umm Sabr slumped in her sofa letting thoughts flow… hearing the sounds of the gentle thunder as it began to grumble!!! The rain beating on the silver metal roof plates.

She marvelled over her achievements and successes for the day – “yes its time to celebrate”, “I accomplished what I set out to achieve today”. Alhamdulillah, as she looks forward to another day – only Allah the Al-Alim knows what tomorrow will bring!

As a mother sometimes you feel you have lost the plot, not knowing whether you are coming or going. You feel pulled in all directions from being a cook, taxi service, and teacher and yet still carry on.

I find by converting every activity into an act of ibaadah, helps me focus. It gives me reason and purpose to continue to strive in my role as a mother, with great passion. When these thoughts flow through my mind, I begin to savour every moment of being a mother, with joy and happiness.

Knowing I have to report back to Allah SWT at the end of the day, gives me the strength to continue to strive for excellence! Not losing sight of the path to my ultimate destination – Jannah. The question you have whirling around in your head must be along the lines of “Hmm… but how do I achieve this balance, without overwhelming myself?”

Asia’s mother yells at the children, “get off your mom and give her a break!” “But I love it” she says as her children climb over her, pull her hair and tell her all about their day at school. She is enveloped by a feeling of love and appreciation, from a wet face of sloppy kisses 

It’s about understanding and building rapport with our children and our inner world. When we begin to understand the map of the world of others, as mothers we can begin to put the jigsaw pieces together. We are the bedrock of society a role most fulfilling in this world and the here after, and only Allah SWT can pay the full reward of the most important, unparallelled job in the universe!

You must have self belief, drive, and determination and resolve that you have been designed and fashioned by Allah to carry out this magnificent role against all odds. A role only rewarded by Allah SWT. Rely and depend heavily on him, and in the moments of joy give praise and thanks to HIM, when things get rocky call on Him. Take a step towards HIM and HE will surely come running to your rescue – do not despair! Let me remind you of the beautiful Hadith Qudsi that always brings a tear or two to my eyes – “If you come to Me walking, I will come to you running.” This is the compassion of Ar-Rah man - The Most Merciful, towards HIS believers, so never lose hope in Allah SWT.
I am sure your asking how she expects me to do this, with everything going on in my life. “I barely have time to organise myself, let alone remember to have a sit down with my kids and a chat with my creator!” It is possible my dear sisters…

Okay Moms lets go do it!

Make a commitment today that you will get productive, work less achieve more and work on things that bring you the highest value in this world and the hereafter. Do something you are passionate about, it does not matter where you are in your life right now, just start today.

Today is called the present because it’s a gift from Allah. And make it the first day of the beginning of the rest of your life.

First things first – Write down everything and anything on your mind on paper or electronically, as mentioned in my previous blog! This time we are going to focus on perfecting and establishing our relationship with Allah in order to become more productive in our daily lives.

Here are a few tips to get you started….

1. Safeguarding your time by using it in away that is beneficial to you and remains protected from harm.

2. Set you affairs for the day straight by calling on Allah the Al-Mujeeb, HE is close by and can hear you the Al-Qareeb – remember HE descends in the last third of the night to seek those asking of HIM –why can we not then make an effort to wake up and meet our Lord? Even if it’s just for 10minutes of the last third of night – this will set you up well for the day ahead on a high level of Eeman. Knowing whatever happens you can handle it because you have called on HIM to be by your side throughout the day.

3. When the going gets tough – take time out go into Dhkir mode and call on him to guide you.

4. The benefits of dawn, wake up you can just before Fajr and ask of Allah. I started waking up 15 minutes before Fajr and when I became accustomed to this I increased it to 30 minutes. You can adopt this strategy and keep increasing the time till you build up to the goal of Time you set your self to wake up – my goal is to wake up an hour fifteen minutes before Fajr then, I can have a short snooze like the Prophet SAW, did before the call of the adhan– reviving the Sunnah if you like. Work hard on not going back to bed (this will vary and depend on the time Fajr starts in your country – in the UK Fajr starts at 3’0clock) starting the day’s chores and activities and by mid-day you would have achieved a great deal.

5. Keep yourself hydrated by drinking lots of water throughout the day – you are doing a fantastic job so keep the body fuelled, it’s like a car if it runs out of petrol it will grind to a halt!

6. Take mini breaks – 15mins or less to re-energise and recharge your fuse (heart) – during these moments of breaks you could contemplate and reflect on some verses of the Quran or Hadith.

7. Teach your children to become team players by giving them responsibilities.

8. Create a space for you in your home, no matter how small your home is, for relaxation and reflection.

9. Laugh and have fun with your kids, the language and communication of love language
is through the non-verbal cues and messages we send to our kids. Start by giving your kids a hug and kiss on the forehead – this speaks volumes in a way that words could not convey. Your child will understand from that hug that mom loves me unconditionally, I can trust her and I am safe with her! How profound.

10. De-clutter your home even if its only for 15-mintes a day

11. Focus on what you have achieved to today on things that you have done and not on
things you are yet to achieve. If Allah has not answered you today HE will answer you tomorrow , so don’t dwell over things you have not achieved today.

12. Keep a shopping list on the fridge and try to only go to the store once a week.

13. Don't be too fussy. Your home does not need to look like a perfect picture out of a glossy magazine. You want your family to be happy, will you choose to have memories of a happy family or sacrifice that for a clean perfect home, only to regret years later the fun you could have had with your kids?

14. Play your favourite Quran reciter or listen to Hadith or lectures while you are doing your housework. - That way you are getting an eeman boost and earning bags of reward from Allah whilst you work! A win-win situation if you ask me.

15. Write a to-do list. Add to it when you think of something that needs doing and check it off once you have completed a task or activity.

16. Clean your bathroom sink while you are cleaning your teeth. Grab a cloth or sponge and give the bath and sink a quick whizz or a wipe over, you’ll be done before you have even finished brushing.

17. Don’t forget your Team players (kids) - Teach your kids to put things away when they have finished with them, tidy their rooms and make their own school lunches.

18. Celebrate your success – Thank the Al-Hamid for making this such a fruitful day for you

We Moms should also practise what we preach. Kids tend to emulate what we DO rather than the instructions we give.

Let me know how you get on!

Wishing you a successful week ahead! Happy parenting!!!

Mommy Coach
Khafayah Abdulsalam

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